Connection Matters

After attending, hosting, leading, and speaking at TONS of events in the last few years, not to mention networking all over the country, I’ve begun to notice there are a few things that really help (or hurt) connection.

And if you don’t already know, connection matters more than anything.

Whether you’re…

• Selling from the stage
• Meeting someone networking
• Giving a consultation to a potential client
• Or on a first date…

Here are some things to pay attention to:

Does your story meet them where they are?

I’ve seen this over and over, we’re told we need a hero’s journey story and we get carried away giving our Auto-biography instead of pairing down our journey to the few key moments, or a single turning point, that’s relevant to where your people are.

Not only does this make it easier for your people to connect your story, to your work, to their lives, but it also takes less time than the FULL rundown.

Is your body sending the same message as your words?

I am a glutton for eye contact. Eye contact that makes you nervous you’re getting caught, eye contact that smolders, all the good things.

For whatever reason, nerves, distractions, past trauma, many people will avoid making good eye contact, or even cross their arms or put their hands in their pockets when they’re connecting with someone new. These are all signs of unease, and that transfers over to whomever you’re speaking to. One-on-one, or in a group.

What are the silent signals your body is giving to the people you’re in front of? Non-verbal communication plays a huge part in someone getting to know, like and trust you.

(Energy Nerd Note: Did you know that you block energy when you put your hands together in front of you? You can think about it like a closed circuit, you dim your receptors. Great for grounding yourself, not great for connecting with new people. If you’re listening to someone speak, pay attention to whether your body is open to receiving them or not.)

Are you asking questions?

As coaches, as women, as leaders, you probably already know how important self-inquiry, good communication and understanding are. It’s vital to ask good questions, and get curious with the person in front of you, if you want to build a lasting connection.

You can also use this in times of discomfort, if you’re ready to have the pressure to perform leave your shoulders, or if you got distracted and didn’t hear the last thing a person said. “Tell me more about that?”

“What would you like instead?”

“What’s next for you?”

Are you giving credit where credit is due?

Acknowledge where they are. What must be true about someone in their position? What have you already noticed in their personality? Their work ethic? Their ability to show up and be powerful? TELL THEM!

Acknowledgement is a powerful way to connect with a person, as well as an audience.

Keep on trucking, you’re people are waiting for you!!!